Book Club: Raising Confident and Secure Children - Raising a Secure Child and Raising Good Humans

The theme for this episode is raising confident and secure children. We examine two books — Raising a Secure Child and Raising Good Humans.

Raising a Secure Child, written by Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper, and Bert Powell John, was published in 2017. This book helps us as parents to understand how our childhood experiences, psychology, and attachment styles affect our parenting, and is packed with practical tips. The book introduces a concept called the "Circle of Security" to frame Attachment Theory ideas. At the top of the circle, children need a secure base from which they can explore the world. At the bottom of the circle, they require a safe haven to return to. Children go around the circle, sometimes very quickly, and it is the job of their parents or caregivers to follow their needs while being "larger, stronger, smarter, and kind" throughout the process. The book is divided into two parts – the first introduces us to the circle and how healthy development happens when parents understand attachment and the importance of security. The second talks about how parents can create and maintain the circle.

The second book we are going to talk about is Raising Good Humans, written by Hunter Clarke-Fields. With mindfulness as its focus, this book examines ways in which increasing our awareness of what is occurring inside our bodies can help us be more purposeful and present parents. This book delves into the reasons why it is so difficult to be a good parent, as well as what we can do to effect long-term change. It also offers a peek into a child’s brain that causes difficult behavior.

The book is also divided into two parts. In the first part, parents learn how mindfulness can help them lessen their stress response and become more compassionate. Parents can then become conscious of their own stories and figure out what is triggering them. Self-compassion comes after as the most important attitude for positive change. The first section concludes with tools on how to deal with unpleasant emotions. The second part teaches parents communication skills that will result in greater cooperation from their children and an improvement in the relationship. It suggests how we, as parents, help our children solve their own difficulties by listening to them, without resorting to threats.

The common principle across these two books is the importance of developing a healthy attachment with our children, in addition to being aware of the triggers and challenges as parents.  

So, what will we be discussing in the next few minutes? We will summarize the key takeaways across three key areas:

1. Attachment
2. Security and Support
3. Exploring our core sensitivities as parents

Welcome to the Parents in Tech Book Club! In each episode, we summarize lessons and takeaways from two best-selling parenting books, so you can save time, get your dose of parenting advice and get back to our families and careers.